How Common Are Open Relationships?
Why Online Dating isn't actually unfair
Surrendering to the man I nearly destroyed
How I became submissive
Using the same metaphor, there is also a thrill of knowing that once you have strapped yourself into the car and it is underway, you can't change your mind.
This can help explain some of the non-consensual consent aspects that Stephen's wife (and my wife) seem to want:
She describes it as a mixture of feelings that are both scary and exhilarating at the same time. My wife emphasized that it is very important that it not be something she can control. All control must be stripped away. Those women who desire such an experience do not want to have to ask for it or orchestrate it; otherwise it loses its power to move them. This loss of control over their bodies is the key to the whole experience. It must be raw, animalistic, scary, forceful, unpredictable, hot and sweaty.
Some women want to indirectly say that it is OK for the man to do this and then have him take over from there. The more indirect and subtle the permission the better. For example, she can send her husband an email directing him to this website and saying, “Can you imagine this?”
Once that button has been pushed, she hopes that everything will be set in motion and it will be too late for her to stop it.
This ain't just a woman thing
A lot of men, especially strong men, crave the same kind of thing from their wives.
I, for one, would love to be ‘raped’ by my wife. I would enjoy the thrill of having her ‘best’ me with a greater commanding presence?, some hidden physical strength or even treachery.
One stipulation: I would want her to summon some strength that allows her to overpower me. I would not want to have to weaken myself to make it happen.
BTW: Elle actually did this many years ago... exactly once. It was incredible.
Knowing that she could is enough
For some women (and, again, some men) the notion of being able to rape or be raped is enough. Just because she has the ability and permission to do it doesn't mean that she has to.
The right to do something also implies the right to not do it. That “right to not do something” is just as empowering.
Being able to overpower a man and choosing not to do so is not a sign of sexual repression. It is the exercise of power. A woman who ‘rapes’ her husband exactly once exercises power. She has demonstrated to herself and to him that she can do it but that she chooses not to.